Unexpected Insights from Planting a Micro-church: Part 2
Just about few months ago, we closed down our beloved micro-church, Ka:ll Community. Ka:ll Community was a dinner church with the mission of enjoying the Asian food, exposing and healing from AAPI invisibility, and reclaiming our faith with our unique lived experiences as Asian Americans living in the States. If you are curious about what Ka:ll Community was about before reading this second part, click here!
Now, here are some reflections on what I wish I had done differently, what I wonder now in hindsight, and my three takeaway lessons in planting a micro-church. If you want the tl;dr version, scroll down to “I take away with me.”
5. I wish I had delayed our first gathering.
I felt quite rushed to get to this church gathering as soon as possible, and it was for two reasons: (1) receiving a grant (and later more grants) did push me beyond my comfort zone to start as soon as possible. (2) part of me wanted to stop ruminating and start doing something so that I would have some points of reference as we built this community.
6. I wish I knew the power of 1-on-1’s.
Robust 1-on-1’s are the foundation of church planting because these conversations help us to listen - and listen deeply - to those whom we are called to serve. Through these conversations we can see where God is working and how, and look out for ways that we can participate in God’s working in this person’s life or the life of the community. It often takes more than one conversation, and it takes a genuine investment of time, friendship, and mental energy to hold spaces for these conversations. Robust 1-on-1’s don’t come out of nowhere, it takes a genuine and earnest heart to love the person in front of you. Expecting myself as the only person to do this work while holding another full-time appointment was extremely challenging. Hence my next point:
7. I wish I approached leadership more intentionally.
I had some amazing leaders from various backgrounds step up and help build this community: we had leaders who were clergy and atheists, persons of different gender/sexual identities, persons with vastly different cultural experiences and identities and I am incredibly proud of our team. I just wish we had more of them. I wish we had almost an equal mass of committed disciples and those who are exploring rather than the vast majority of us identifying as explorers. Explorers who are part of our community often need (and should rightly so, have) the space to be non-committal, and trying to plant a church where the majority of us needed that non-committal space was challenging.
On that note, I also did not have the wisdom to differentiate one’s excitement to commit versus one’s discipline to commit. Both are absolutely needed in a successful church planting, but I as the leader failed to differentiate the two and by doing so failed to lead effectively with these different levels of commitment. I needed to grow my eyes and competency in assessing not only one’s excited yes, but their capacity to carry through their “yes” to action.
8. I wish I had made sure I secured several places of what I call “the new face chains” before we even fathom the idea of planting.
Some often refer to what I call the new face chains as “mosaics” or “third places” where they can continuously meet new faces and expand connections. I had made a critical mistake of not differentiating “identifying” these new face chains versus “securing” them. Identifying and securing are two very different levels of engagement. I did have a few places where I often met new faces but these spaces did not provide me with continuous streams of new faces I can interact with. Great examples of securing the new face chains are ministries like BedStart in Plano, TX where gently used pieces of furniture are delivered to those who are often new to the town or new immigrants, or ministries that are addressing specific niche or needs that open their doors to the wider community like food pantry or community closet. Church sponsored daycares are another great way to meet the community members with children and secure those moments of meeting new faces. I can also show up as a participant of a community event or a third place activity like yoga classes or game nights at game shops, guesting as opposed to hosting. In any case, securing several clear streams of opportunities to meet new faces is critically important before one even entertains the thought of church planting- because that is how we meet our community members and begin initiating 1-on-1’s with them.
9. I wish we had a clear geographical reach for our mission.
This also goes along with my point on 1-on-1s and securing new face chains: if a community has a clear geographical center and identity, securing these places becomes much more focused and streamlined. We can more easily partner with the local businesses and organizations to serve our community and get to know them in different dimensions. We can identify the giftedness of the community as well as their unique challenges on a deeper level because we are truly forming a monastic way of living with the community.
Ka:ll Community members were at the Gun Violence Prevention and Healing Rally, May, 2023.
10. I wonder if we can offer something that no other place can offer.
Ka:ll dinner church was truly unique, but I wonder if it was an experience that the community members could have found elsewhere in their lives. Our dinners were good, but they could have found it elsewhere with their own circles of connections. Our conversations surrounding our identity was incredibly helpful and needed, but they could have found it in places like Together We Dine or other educational organizations. What we had to offer was good, but I wonder if it wasn’t uniquely something that a church should offer. A church is called to offer opportunities to connect with God through worship, prayer, reading, fellowship, and other means of grace. A church is a place in which we can experience God’s transcendent presence and immanent voice in our lives. It is a place where we work out our faith navigating some complicated dynamics in our lives. I wonder how we can be part of God’s grace at work that is uniquely offered by the church, the intentional gathering of God’s beloved.
As you can see, I’ve had an amazing and dynamic experience full of many learnings. I have experienced God’s deep love for God’s people, especially those who are at the margins and exploring in the threshold of churches.
Now, enjoy these final takeaways from my experience of planting this lovely amazing micro-church:
We also enjoyed collaborating with many partnering organizations, including Break Bread Break Borders.
I take away with me:
11. Being excellent should be the basic standard. Successful church planting needs stars to line up (i.e. it ain’t gonna happen without God’s grace!)
Please, by no means take this as me saying, “Danielle was all perfect and good and things just didn’t line up.” By no means, NO. Through this experience, I had to be brutally honest and face the growing edges of my leadership in almost every second of the way (you’ve read just a few of them above). But this experience has taught me that there are so many other things in church planting that are out of my control. For example, with the rise of the pandemic, many Asian Americans were forced to stand up and seriously consider their identities through and after experiences of oppression. This wave of movement really propelled the work of Ka:ll, and that was out of my control although it was in our favor. But those new faces that you meet that lead to a whole new world of experiences, those moments that you share with the community members that lead to another powerful encounter, those political events that call you to be present prophetically, those are out of your control. But when those opportunities present themselves, oh Lord, I’d be better ready.
I have learned to differentiate myself from these factors that contribute to a successful church planting. Most of us know that trying our best does not always bring the best result. In fact, trying my best is basic and fundamental. Doing my best in each moment is called work ethic. Being the best pastor I can be in every moment, being the best preacher I can be in any pulpit, being the best planter I can be in every opportunity are basics of successful ministry, not a guarantee to bring results. Sometimes, I can do my earnest best and have the most excellent ministry skills but still fail to bring results. I have learned to surrender to God’s grace that helps me bear fruit beyond what is my part. I have also learned to be resilient to keep sharpening my craft without being so discouraged by results that are below my expectations.
More than two-thirds of start-ups don’t succeed, and we need leaders who are not afraid to fail but never fail to try more than ever. (See https://hbr.org/2021/05/why-start-ups-fail) For a leader to be able to draw strength to keep trying until it works, they need to be grounded in healthy self-differentiation, and in humility to see exactly who they are and what is theirs to contribute and what is NOT theirs. I daily struggle to be the best leader I can be, grounded in healthy self-differentiation and humility to see exactly who I am. This experience has taught me to lean more on God’s grace in my ministry more than ever.
12. My motivation for planting is everything.
I also take away with me how vital it is for me to self-examine my motivation to church plant in almost every moment. I look back, and I wish I had loved more. I wish I had the capacity to love the community members more deeply. I wish I had been more present, more patient, and more empathetic with their unique experiences. The very first church was birthed out of true repentance and love for one another, that they broke bread and prayed together with deep love (See Acts 2). What was so transformative about my experience in the church was love. The church, reflecting the image of God who is love, must be the expert in loving: Loving God, loving neighbors, and loving in every level of our existence. I wondered if sometimes my motivation for church planting was rather coming out of “I want to build a community” than “I want to love, and love well.” (I borrow this language from Dr. Kenda Creasy Dean!) It is not that I did not love my community members, nor that this church plant was not motivated by love. But I continue to find myself praying for my capacity to love to be grown and expanded. I want to fall in love with those that I am called to serve so deeply that I want to viscerally feel their pain and challenges and prophetically witness their gifts and dreams. You may wonder what love is until you see it, and you will know. The world will know us by our love. I take away with me a deeper desire to love and love well, whether I am a church planter or not.
13. The gospel of Jesus Christ is absolutely resonating to people.
This is by far the most powerful lesson I take away with me, and my none and done friends have taught me this: the gospel of Jesus Christ is absolutely resonating to people. This message of God who is Love; Love who is God, coming down to earth to dwell among us and be with us. Any violence or oppression or even death cannot prevent Love from dwelling among us, that this resilient Love is what we are made to be. This is a powerful message that we all need in our lives. Love, who is God, is still working so powerfully among us, both within and outside the church walls. Love is laboring to create a world that is more loving and Jesus Christ’s death and resurrection empowers us to experience that with our own humanity. Love, who is the Triune God, who is diverse, equal, and communal, is the image in which we are made after. Working with my none and done friends has taught me one thing: more than ever, I want to be part of Love and it is exactly what we need.
We hosted some Together We Dine events with partnering congregations, to have a time of sharing stories and experiences of racial issues in our communities with those who may or may not identify with our experiences.
So… you might be wondering, what’s next for me! Well, I am currently appointed as associate pastor in a large church in Coppell. I am thoroughly enjoying my time with this lovely congregation, and I am learning to love and love well. I see God expanding my capacity to love in this ministry context. But I surely pray that Ka:ll is not my last chance to plant a church. I pray for doors to open, stars to line up even better, and my ministry skills to be sharpened more than ever. When the time comes, I want to fully embrace any planting opportunities.
Plus, David and I are expecting a little girl this March! (More stories coming!) We are beyond excited for this amazing miracle (stars did line up for this one! Ha!) and we want to fully celebrate and rejoice in becoming parents to our little one.
Our lovely pups are extremely excited to be big brothers!
Meanwhile, I ask for your prayers (especially if you made it this far reading it!) and also I encourage you to share your reflections with me either through email or social media - I want to hear your thoughts and journey alongside you.
