4 Lessons I Learned in My Last Cross-Cultural/Cross-Racial Appointment

I am so thankful for this collage! It is a wonderful memento of my time with this congregation, and I will cherish it always.

Over the past three years, I had the privilege of serving a predominantly White congregation with nearly 3000 members and 6 other clergy on staff. This congregation is situated in the heart of Plano, TX, an affluent community that is becoming increasingly diverse. The church has been around for over four decades, renowned for its strong children and youth ministries in the community. My role was to oversee Adult Discipleship (or adult education) in the church, and much of my time was spent around Adult Sunday School classes, Bible study sessions, and other community and learning groups for adults in the congregation. Out of the seven appointed clergy, I was the only clergywoman of color. I spent the most dynamic three years filled with many learnings, and I'd like to share some of my reflections from my last appointment!

Lesson 1: The laity might be more ready.

During my onboarding, the pandemic was in full swing, and I didn't meet my congregants in person until six months into my appointment. In their eager attempt to relate to me, both the staff and congregation frequently brought up their experiences with Asians or Asian cultures when talking to me – even going back to the Korean War. While I appreciated their effort to connect, these repeated comments from many of them (not just one, but many!) made me feel like I was solely viewed as the Asian pastor in their church. It took a full year for me to sense that the congregation and staff were truly seeing me for who I am, rather than just an Asian pastor.

But I was pleasantly surprised at how our laity exhibit a more developed level of intercultural competencies than some of the church staff who have been working in the church for a long time, a predominantly White setting. I imagine it is because some of the church staff who worked in the church for a long time did not have as ample opportunities as the laypersons to encounter those who are from different cultures, and therefore did not have the chance to learn and practice their intercultural competencies. The laypersons have business partners, neighbors, and school friends from various cultures and they did not treat me any differently from the person next to me who is White. They were more willing to get to know me for who I am instead of what culture I was from. They were willing to see the complexity of my identity as an 1.5 generation immigrant Asian American. They were more willing to let me bring out my heritage when I was comfortable and ready than forcing it out on me to satisfy their curiosity. 

It then brought me to think about how clergy persons and lay church staff may need some more exposure and education on intercultural competencies, not only to work with a person of color like me, but to serve the mission field that is becoming more diverse than ever. It also brings me to think about my own intercultural competencies and implicit biases I may have for people who are of different racial identities or cultures. I wonder, what would it look like to leverage this readiness we witness in the laity to move us forward in the work of racial justice and reconciliation?

Lesson 2: I have learned to lead like me, not like someone else. 

There were multiple points in my journey in the last appointment that I felt the pressure to lead like someone else. I often felt the pressure to be the stereotypical Asian American woman who is docile and submissive, following exactly what was prescribed to me, from A to Z. I often felt that this dynamic mixed with my “young” age played a role that I had to be told exactly what to do in order to excel in my ministry. I deeply believed in my values to lead collaboratively and democratically. Sharing power with those whom I lead and those whom I am being led is important to me. But these values were many times in the opposite place in the spectrum from those who were from different cultures than mine. After trying desperately to fit into these expectations but failing miserably, I finally asked for a different work environment- to be more free with the way I am called to lead, to be able to lead collaboratively and democratically alongside those whom I serve. I am thankful that I was granted the opportunity to do so, and I got to be part of establishing the vision, mission, and strategy for Adult Discipleship, promoting much needed collaboration and connection with other departments in the church. 

To be candid, leading like me with confidence is still a major growing edge for me. I am still conflicted and struggling between my commitment to authentically lead as myself and my desire to fit in or even prove some wrong that I am not meant to be a leader at the forefront. I recently realized that I am still anguished by these voices in many places of my life telling me that “you may lead, but only this much.” These subtle and not-so-subtle messages I encounter daily, due to not fitting the mold of a typical leading pastor, weigh heavily on me. I am committed to do whatever it takes to channel these experiences in the most constructive way possible. I am also committed to own my parts and practice radical humility with the confidence rooted in God as I continue to say yes to ordained ministry.

Lesson 3: I have learned to prioritize value-driven leadership over vision-driven leadership. 

One of the best lessons I have learned about myself in the past cross-cultural/cross-racial appointment is that it is extremely important for me to lead with my core values. My core values are authenticity, courage, curiosity, and wholeheartedness. I want to be in a setting that these values are celebrated and affirmed.  When I am in an environment where I can freely pursue these values, I am freed to vision and dream with those whom I serve. When I am in an environment that does not welcome these values, I often find myself unmotivated, frustrated, and lost. 

In the same way, I thought about what it would look like to lead with values instead of vision, especially in the cross-cultural/cross-racial ministry settings. I deeply believe that the work of leadership is to help people vision together. Those whom I serve often have the better vision than I do, because they are the experts of their own lived experiences. So it would be extremely unfair for one leader or only a few select leaders to sketch what the future can be. Vision-driven leadership often comes to me colonialistic and hierarchical. But when leaders lead with values, such as values to serve the neighbor, or to eradicate poverty, or to dismantle racism, then we can all vision what that looks like in our context together. I believe that the era of one distinctive leader leading the rest of the flock with a set vision is of the past. I am deeply convinced that leadership that embraces curiosity and deep listening, firmly grounded in shared values, is key to effective leadership.

I remember my supervisor telling me in his honest and sincere plea, “I don’t want to clip your wings, Danielle.” I have deeply appreciated his vulnerable confession and his attempt to make things better for me. Part of me wonders if he had no choice to clip my wings because our values were not aligned. He and I saw leadership and the way we navigate ministry vastly differently. Misaligned values can make honest and well-meaning leaders clip the wings of those whom they serve. I may have good intentions and still cause harm if I am not self-aware of what is important to me and if I am not listening to what is important to others. These experiences have reinforced my conviction to prioritize value-driven leadership over vision-driven leadership.

Lesson 4: God is going to work through me no matter what, because God is faithful. 

I came into this appointment quite apprehensive. It was in the middle of the pandemic, and I was extremely nervous and anxious about almost everything- including preaching in front of close to 1000 people! The congregation members were incredibly affirming and kind throughout my time with them. They helped me to stand firm in my calling in ministry, and affirmed my gifts and graces. They welcomed and celebrated my theological voice, even when it was challenging to them. They truly helped me see myself as a pastor, even in the moments when I was struggling to find my own pastoral identity. 

Both feelings can be true at the same time- sometimes I have wondered if I am really living out the fullness of what God is calling me to do, often buried under many administrative tasks like troubleshooting Zoom problems, booking rooms, making forms, ordering books, etc. I can never forget a fellow clergy making a remark that was supposed to be a joke, that I am the designated administrative assistant in our team of clergy in the Adult Discipleship department. But regardless of my doubts and angst and questions, I have experienced the grace of God working through me- because God is faithful. I had the wonderful opportunities to be part of the journeys of many saints in the church, and deepen their theological understandings. I was blessed with many moments when I was able to push the needle forward on racial justice and reconciliation. Despite all the challenges, my leadership was trusted by the congregation. I even have had a chance to author and publish a Lenten devotional with Abingdon Press and contribute to many other devotionals and teaching videos. My cup overflows! 

I have learned that no matter how challenging my ministry gets, God is more than willing to work through me, because God is faithful. May I always be firmly grounded in this truth, and may I courageously navigate my ministries, knowing that I can trust God who chooses to work through me! 

A word of encouragement to the clergysiblings who are in cross-cultural/cross-racial appointments:

Take heart, God is working through you, because God is faithful!

Previous
Previous

Unexpected Insights from Planting a Micro-church: Part 1

Next
Next

I’m an ordained clergywoman who grew up in a Southern Baptist church.